Some people love 5pm, when the work horn sounds and they are free to spend the evening as they choose. Some people love 5am, rising with the sun, and heading off to a morning exercise people. Some people love the 15 minutes in the morning with a freshly poured cup of coffee and the morning newspaper.
My favorite time is none of those (although all but 5am are nice times for me). My favorite time of the day is 6:12am. Exactly. That's the time the alarm goes off, waking us up with whatever happens to be on the radio at that time. (aside: damn the mornings when it is that really annoying Quizno's jingle that makes the hair on your arm stand on end).
I'm not a morning person at all, but at 6:12am, my husband sleepily pushes the snooze button, moves all the pillows out from the middle of the bed (we both like snuggle pillows), scoots towards me in our divine king-sized bed, and puts his arms around me nice and tight. For the next 10 glorious minutes I'm engulfed in his arms, remembering on our first date how I loved that he was a great hugger. I feel safe, loved, warm, and often fall back asleep for a few minutes. It is absolutely the highlight of my day. Sometimes it's just the little things.
When is your favorite time of day?
Friday, June 18, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sometimes you have to make a decision to know it's the wrong one
In September 2009, after a grueling year of off and on looking, we finally bought a house. After all, that's the American dream, right? We were convinced this was our dream house that we'd live in for many, many years. It was a house we never thought we could afford, but it was bank owned and we were able to buy it within our budget. Granite countertops! Kitchen island! Soaking tub! Double sinks! We were thrilled.
In November 2009 I ended up leaving my job if the past 6 years for a new opportunity. This new job is 16.4 miles from our beautiful house. While that may not be far for many of you, that's an eternity away when you live in a city with traffic. The commute is an hour plus each way, making me feel like those people in L.A. that I always laughed at. "Why would anyone in their right mind spend 2 hours a day in their car?" My record commute one unpredicted snowy day (with only about an inch of snow) was just over 4 hours. Yes, FOUR hours. The breaking point was a day about 2 months ago where I hit the one hour mark of driving far from our house and started to cry. I cried the rest of the way home. We had a long conversation that night and decided to sell the house.
While the commute is a huge factor (and I love my job and it's a steady one that I can have for all of eternity if I want to), we also realized that owning isn't important to us. While it's touted as this awesome thing, it isn't really. Our mortgage plus utilities is more than twice what we were paying for rent. We are very lucky that our house is new and has no yard, so we spend very little time working on the house. We do spend so much time cleaning the 2,300 square feet (and we only live in about 1,300 of it). The "tax benefits" were non-existant for us, and although people are always say that you're gaining equity, that doesn't really happen for years. Of the $2,000ish that we pay, a whopping $300 goes to principal. The rest is interest and taxes.
So the house is on the market (first realtor just fired) and we're looking forward to going back to renting whenever we can sell. We are looking to move into trendier areas of town with easy walking/biking to local restaurants and shops. The burbs are nice, but we're young(ish), kid-free, and ready to be urbanites for awhile. I completely understand why some people like to own, but we're happily going back to the rental life.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Time to build an ark
There was an article in our local paper on Monday that I'll summarize to save you the reading:
- 1.48 inches of rain Sunday, which is more than the usual monthly total
- That rain brought us to 3.09 inches for the month (and it was only June 7)
- 3.09 inches was the 4th rainiest June in history
- By June 7 we had a new record for May+June rain (May was 3rd wettest in history)
- April had 25 days of rain, for a total of 52/67 days with rain since April 1
Today is Thursday. We've added 3 more days of rain since Monday, and it's now the 3rd wettest in history. (EDIT: 2 hours after I posted this we cracked into the top two) We also just set a record today for the latest date in the year to have not had a day 80 degrees or hotter.
Now all this weather is a bummer, don't get me wrong. However, I'm a native. My brain and body are wired for grey skies and drizzle (a term that I've learned is new to many who aren't from here - that and "spendy"). I don't mind a long stretch of rain because it makes things green and makes the world smell wonderfully. Sure, I'm ready for sun now, but we had a very mild winter, so I'm okay paying my dues.
On the flip side, B is a native of South Florida. The land of sunshine, beaches, and flip flops and shorts at Christmas. He distinctly remembers the ONE time they had a "frost warning" because the entire area panicked. He moved to Portland before we met, but I know he'd be long gone if it weren't for me. The grey is really hard on him. The endless days of no sun and copious amounts of rain are soul-crushing for him. The witty, sarcastic, silly man I love disappears when the rain stretches more than a few days. We were able to get away to Vegas and get some sun in May, which was great, but it has rained almost every day since we've been back. I've promised that we won't be here forever (more than 5 more years), but since my family is here and I really like my job, we're stuck here for now.
Lest this post be too depressing, check out the 7 day forecast. My soul is singing.
- 1.48 inches of rain Sunday, which is more than the usual monthly total
- That rain brought us to 3.09 inches for the month (and it was only June 7)
- 3.09 inches was the 4th rainiest June in history
- By June 7 we had a new record for May+June rain (May was 3rd wettest in history)
- April had 25 days of rain, for a total of 52/67 days with rain since April 1
Today is Thursday. We've added 3 more days of rain since Monday, and it's now the 3rd wettest in history. (EDIT: 2 hours after I posted this we cracked into the top two) We also just set a record today for the latest date in the year to have not had a day 80 degrees or hotter.
Now all this weather is a bummer, don't get me wrong. However, I'm a native. My brain and body are wired for grey skies and drizzle (a term that I've learned is new to many who aren't from here - that and "spendy"). I don't mind a long stretch of rain because it makes things green and makes the world smell wonderfully. Sure, I'm ready for sun now, but we had a very mild winter, so I'm okay paying my dues.
On the flip side, B is a native of South Florida. The land of sunshine, beaches, and flip flops and shorts at Christmas. He distinctly remembers the ONE time they had a "frost warning" because the entire area panicked. He moved to Portland before we met, but I know he'd be long gone if it weren't for me. The grey is really hard on him. The endless days of no sun and copious amounts of rain are soul-crushing for him. The witty, sarcastic, silly man I love disappears when the rain stretches more than a few days. We were able to get away to Vegas and get some sun in May, which was great, but it has rained almost every day since we've been back. I've promised that we won't be here forever (more than 5 more years), but since my family is here and I really like my job, we're stuck here for now.
Lest this post be too depressing, check out the 7 day forecast. My soul is singing.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Divergent paths
B is 33 and I'm 28 (29 in 3 weeks), so the reality of life is our friends are having kids. Just this week, we went to happy hour with some old neighbors of ours who just got married last July. They have become close friends of ours, and we love spending time with them. As we sat down, they announced that they had just found out that day they were expecting.
We did the obligatory "congratulations! How exciting!" and we are genuinely happy for them, since this was a very wanted baby. When we got home though, we walked in the door, looked at each other, and promptly said "shit, more friends we've lost." Although we have 8 months before we "lose" them, we're already grieving the loss of a friendship. A beach trip planned for next month is already heading towards cancellation since the mom-to-be is worried she might be sick.
To add to it, my best friend told us 2 weeks ago that she's 14 weeks pregnant with #2. We've worked REALLY hard to stay friends with she and her husband, and it's worked decently since they are parents who make the child fit their schedule. Never have we heard "we can't meet at that time, it's her nap time" or "can we go to a place like Red Robin since it's really loud and kid-friendly?" It has meant that we can't have grown-up outings to most happy hours, we can't go wine tasting, and they are out for beach getaways (since a toddler ruins some of the fun), but we do our best to make it work. It helps that they have taught their little girl to be well-behaved and they do not tolerate throwing food on the floor, shrieking, and any other horrifying behavior that most parents seem to be okay with.
We don't have any plans to have kids in the near future, maybe ever. That makes it basically impossible to have friends with kids. Sorry, we don't care about how often your kid poops, the stupid videos you post of your kid staring at a dot on the carpet for 30 minutes (true story!), or discussing the pros and cons of cloth diapering. While a new parent finds those topics fascinating, I don't. I'm not anti-baby, but it sucks to lose your friends to parenthood. It sucks even more when you know you're likely never going to re-join them as friends since kids aren't a plan.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for my friends that really want children. It's just hard to watch a friendship dissolve because the parental social life falls to the wayside. That in itself makes me feel for the parents that don't realize getting away from the baby is healthy, normal, and beneficial to all involved. I know babies mean changes, but I firmly believe they DON'T mean "only one of 2 restaurants of the parent's choice (because they are loud and the kid can scream there), driving 45 minutes to go to said restaurants, and only being able to go to dinner at 4pm because 'earlier the baby is sleeping and later he needs to eat his dinner so we have to be home.'" Yes, the latter actually happened to us. I'm willing to call around and find a happy hour that allows kids, and I'm willing to be flexible on time (5, 6, 7, okay!), but I'm not willing to be ridiculous.
For now, we hold on tight to the ever-dwindling friends of ours that are kid-free. The reality is that that group is likely to shrink to zero in the next few years. How can we find couples like us? We jokingly say we're going to be peer-pressured into having a baby just so we can have friends!
We did the obligatory "congratulations! How exciting!" and we are genuinely happy for them, since this was a very wanted baby. When we got home though, we walked in the door, looked at each other, and promptly said "shit, more friends we've lost." Although we have 8 months before we "lose" them, we're already grieving the loss of a friendship. A beach trip planned for next month is already heading towards cancellation since the mom-to-be is worried she might be sick.
To add to it, my best friend told us 2 weeks ago that she's 14 weeks pregnant with #2. We've worked REALLY hard to stay friends with she and her husband, and it's worked decently since they are parents who make the child fit their schedule. Never have we heard "we can't meet at that time, it's her nap time" or "can we go to a place like Red Robin since it's really loud and kid-friendly?" It has meant that we can't have grown-up outings to most happy hours, we can't go wine tasting, and they are out for beach getaways (since a toddler ruins some of the fun), but we do our best to make it work. It helps that they have taught their little girl to be well-behaved and they do not tolerate throwing food on the floor, shrieking, and any other horrifying behavior that most parents seem to be okay with.
We don't have any plans to have kids in the near future, maybe ever. That makes it basically impossible to have friends with kids. Sorry, we don't care about how often your kid poops, the stupid videos you post of your kid staring at a dot on the carpet for 30 minutes (true story!), or discussing the pros and cons of cloth diapering. While a new parent finds those topics fascinating, I don't. I'm not anti-baby, but it sucks to lose your friends to parenthood. It sucks even more when you know you're likely never going to re-join them as friends since kids aren't a plan.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for my friends that really want children. It's just hard to watch a friendship dissolve because the parental social life falls to the wayside. That in itself makes me feel for the parents that don't realize getting away from the baby is healthy, normal, and beneficial to all involved. I know babies mean changes, but I firmly believe they DON'T mean "only one of 2 restaurants of the parent's choice (because they are loud and the kid can scream there), driving 45 minutes to go to said restaurants, and only being able to go to dinner at 4pm because 'earlier the baby is sleeping and later he needs to eat his dinner so we have to be home.'" Yes, the latter actually happened to us. I'm willing to call around and find a happy hour that allows kids, and I'm willing to be flexible on time (5, 6, 7, okay!), but I'm not willing to be ridiculous.
For now, we hold on tight to the ever-dwindling friends of ours that are kid-free. The reality is that that group is likely to shrink to zero in the next few years. How can we find couples like us? We jokingly say we're going to be peer-pressured into having a baby just so we can have friends!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Size issues
Somehow I've started getting a subscription to Glamour magazine. I think it might have been something to use up expiring airline miles, but I'm not sure. It's not really my style, but since it's free, I flip through it when it comes.
The June issue had an article about bathing suits. The article proudly bragged about using a "plus sized" model. She's a size 12, and this was the picture they used.
I was reading it during dinner, so I quickly showed it to B and asked for his honest opinion if I was bigger or smaller than this woman. In complete honesty, there was nothing tricky behind my question. To me, this woman looks much smaller than a size 12, and I think I look a lot like her (except with bigger boobs!). If anything, I think I'm a bit bigger than her, especially in the hip region which seems to be preparing for childbirth although there is no baby in sight.
When I asked B about the size comparison, I was expecting him to agree with me that there was NO WAY that model is a size 12. I'm usually a size 8, and I felt pretty sure I was about the same size as this woman. I showed him the photo, and he quickly and honestly said "you're totally smaller than her." He said it so nonchalantly that I knew that was the complete truth. There wasn't a hint of "say smaller to make your wife feel skinny" at all.
I'll have to grab a recent photo of me when I get to my laptop, but I find this phenomenon so interesting. Do all women think they are much bigger than they really are, or is it just me? While I don't think I'm obese or anything, I could stand to lose 10lbs or so. It just seems so bizarre that my own personal vision of myself is at least 2 sizes bigger than I really am. Why is this? Am I alone in this? Why do I have such a distorted view of what I look like? While I ponder these things, I'll be sitting here, smiling, thinking about my husband inadvertently making me feel thin (even if it might be closer to reality than my view).
The June issue had an article about bathing suits. The article proudly bragged about using a "plus sized" model. She's a size 12, and this was the picture they used.
I was reading it during dinner, so I quickly showed it to B and asked for his honest opinion if I was bigger or smaller than this woman. In complete honesty, there was nothing tricky behind my question. To me, this woman looks much smaller than a size 12, and I think I look a lot like her (except with bigger boobs!). If anything, I think I'm a bit bigger than her, especially in the hip region which seems to be preparing for childbirth although there is no baby in sight.
When I asked B about the size comparison, I was expecting him to agree with me that there was NO WAY that model is a size 12. I'm usually a size 8, and I felt pretty sure I was about the same size as this woman. I showed him the photo, and he quickly and honestly said "you're totally smaller than her." He said it so nonchalantly that I knew that was the complete truth. There wasn't a hint of "say smaller to make your wife feel skinny" at all.
I'll have to grab a recent photo of me when I get to my laptop, but I find this phenomenon so interesting. Do all women think they are much bigger than they really are, or is it just me? While I don't think I'm obese or anything, I could stand to lose 10lbs or so. It just seems so bizarre that my own personal vision of myself is at least 2 sizes bigger than I really am. Why is this? Am I alone in this? Why do I have such a distorted view of what I look like? While I ponder these things, I'll be sitting here, smiling, thinking about my husband inadvertently making me feel thin (even if it might be closer to reality than my view).
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Vegas vacation
Our second year of marriage wasn't always an easy one. We faced some unexpected challenges and things weren't always rosy. Determined to start off year 3 on a better note, B entirely planned an anniversary vacation on his own (the first time he'd done such a thing). To celebrate our second anniversary we spent 3 nights and 4 days at the Wynn in Las Vegas. Somehow we scored a GREAT deal in the mail ($299 for 3 nights, plus 2 tickets to Le Reve), and we had a fantastic time.
We started off the trip with me scoring us an upgrade to first class. Although the flight isn't long, the snacks and free alcohol were nice :)
The room was beautiful:
We wandered around in the sun, and enjoyed bare legs and arms for the first time all year, since Portland hasn't yet gotten warm. We posed in goofy ways using the hotel props.
We made wishes in the hotel fountains:
We took cheesy photos in the casino:
We spent the second night getting all fancy, going to the Wynn buffet, and seeing Le Reve. The show was fantastic, and it was fun to dress up and look like grown-ups for a night.
While Vegas is a ton of fun, we both agree that it can get overwhelming. B had smartly arranged for a rental car for a day so we could go check out the Red Rock area. It was beautiful, although a bit chilly compared to the Strip. Of course, being the fatty food lovers that we are, the day trip began with lunch at In-and-Out. We don't have those here in Oregon, so it was something we had looked forward to. It was pretty good, although Burgerville gives it a run for its money - especially in terms of the novelty food since In and Out only has burgers and fries.
We're total cheapskates, so we each had only budgeted $80 for gambling (money we'd made by selling a camera we rarely used on Craiglist before we left). We tend to like the penny machines and bet the lower end of the bets (9 cents-25 cents depending on the machine). We found this fun fishing game that we played several times over the trip. B accidentally hit the max bet button on one spin, which was $3. Luck was on his side, because that was the winning spin where he got to "go fishing." At this point we were both about even in our winnings, but he had the chance to actually win some real money. He ended up catching fish worth $118, which was pretty exciting on an accidental spin! All in all, that put us up about $60 for the trip right before we were leaving. Despite not losing any money, we earned enough points for a free buffet each (worth $38) right before left. Winning on the slots and a free buffet was a nice way to end the trip.
Us at the buffet:
Winner, winner, chicken dinner:
We had a fantastic trip and really needed that time to reconnect as a couple. Our daily lives can be very busy and stressful, and we both enjoy time away from life to just enjoy each other. I'm confident that year 3 is going to be much better, and this was a perfect start to it.
We started off the trip with me scoring us an upgrade to first class. Although the flight isn't long, the snacks and free alcohol were nice :)
The room was beautiful:
We wandered around in the sun, and enjoyed bare legs and arms for the first time all year, since Portland hasn't yet gotten warm. We posed in goofy ways using the hotel props.
We made wishes in the hotel fountains:
We took cheesy photos in the casino:
We spent the second night getting all fancy, going to the Wynn buffet, and seeing Le Reve. The show was fantastic, and it was fun to dress up and look like grown-ups for a night.
While Vegas is a ton of fun, we both agree that it can get overwhelming. B had smartly arranged for a rental car for a day so we could go check out the Red Rock area. It was beautiful, although a bit chilly compared to the Strip. Of course, being the fatty food lovers that we are, the day trip began with lunch at In-and-Out. We don't have those here in Oregon, so it was something we had looked forward to. It was pretty good, although Burgerville gives it a run for its money - especially in terms of the novelty food since In and Out only has burgers and fries.
We're total cheapskates, so we each had only budgeted $80 for gambling (money we'd made by selling a camera we rarely used on Craiglist before we left). We tend to like the penny machines and bet the lower end of the bets (9 cents-25 cents depending on the machine). We found this fun fishing game that we played several times over the trip. B accidentally hit the max bet button on one spin, which was $3. Luck was on his side, because that was the winning spin where he got to "go fishing." At this point we were both about even in our winnings, but he had the chance to actually win some real money. He ended up catching fish worth $118, which was pretty exciting on an accidental spin! All in all, that put us up about $60 for the trip right before we were leaving. Despite not losing any money, we earned enough points for a free buffet each (worth $38) right before left. Winning on the slots and a free buffet was a nice way to end the trip.
Us at the buffet:
Winner, winner, chicken dinner:
We had a fantastic trip and really needed that time to reconnect as a couple. Our daily lives can be very busy and stressful, and we both enjoy time away from life to just enjoy each other. I'm confident that year 3 is going to be much better, and this was a perfect start to it.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Stretching the truth
Admittedly I'm someone who stretches the truth for emphasis, even when I don't need to. My commute home might have been an hour and five minutes, but I might say an hour and twelve minutes, as if the real number wasn't already super long. Or I might say I emailed someone 4 times with the same request, when it was really only 3 (still excessive). I have no idea why I do it, but I do know I never do it in a time where the exaggeration is harmful.
Yesterday I was caught in a truth stretch before I even knew it.
We are selling our house. Yes, we've only owned it since September, but with my new job I have to commute an hour. B is also thinking of going back to school, so having less debt would be great. We've also realized we really would rather use our money to travel.
I went to the paint store to get some touch-up paint for our walls. I was chatting with the guy and told him I needed the paint since we were selling. He asked why we were selling such a new house, and I told him we decided we wanted to travel the world. While not a true lie, he clearly took it as "sell everything and backpack across Europe for a year." He asked where all we were going to travel, and rather than correct him, I said "oh, parts of Europe, maybe Taiwan and Singapore, definitely S. America." Sure, we'd love to see those places, but the likelihood of making it to all of them in the near future is slim to none. I have no idea why I was stretching the truth with the paint guy, but it was harmless, and fun to dream about where we would go if we had no debt, no kitties to worry about, and money wasn't an object. Does it really matter if the paint guy thinks I'm actually going to live a free-wheeling life? :)
Yesterday I was caught in a truth stretch before I even knew it.
We are selling our house. Yes, we've only owned it since September, but with my new job I have to commute an hour. B is also thinking of going back to school, so having less debt would be great. We've also realized we really would rather use our money to travel.
I went to the paint store to get some touch-up paint for our walls. I was chatting with the guy and told him I needed the paint since we were selling. He asked why we were selling such a new house, and I told him we decided we wanted to travel the world. While not a true lie, he clearly took it as "sell everything and backpack across Europe for a year." He asked where all we were going to travel, and rather than correct him, I said "oh, parts of Europe, maybe Taiwan and Singapore, definitely S. America." Sure, we'd love to see those places, but the likelihood of making it to all of them in the near future is slim to none. I have no idea why I was stretching the truth with the paint guy, but it was harmless, and fun to dream about where we would go if we had no debt, no kitties to worry about, and money wasn't an object. Does it really matter if the paint guy thinks I'm actually going to live a free-wheeling life? :)
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