Recently B told me his motto right now is "simplify." I love how that reflects our lives right now. Ways we are working to simplify:
- We sold our house! I commute an hour each way which isn't simple in any way. It is very stressful to sit in traffic for 2 hours each day.
- We're downsizing. Sure, 2300sq ft is nice, but why do 2 people need that much space? We spend so much of our free time cleaning rooms we don't even use. 2 people do not need 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.
- Our new place is 1,100sq ft, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. We're going to have to purge some of our stuff, but it fits nicely with the simplify motto.
- B was working a job that is 4 shifts per week, but never the same 4 days. Every other weekend he worked, plus the drama there was through the roof. Starting Tuesday he's starting a new job that is a normal M-F 8-5 nursing job. To say we're excited to have more time together is an understatement.
- B's new job is NINE BLOCKS from our new apartment. My job is 2.2 miles. Those two things scream "simplify." We'll be downsizing to one car. Who needs 2 cars when we can both bike/walk to work?
- Family drama was a huge stressor in the past year. B has made the conscious decision to not participate in it any more. At a certain level you have to let things go, especially when you've tried everything possible and things don't get better. That simplification has made a HUGE difference in our quality of life. It's been interesting to watch what happens when you refuse to feed into the drama.
- Making an effort to let work stress go. My job can be very stressful, but by no means is it life and death. I have to constantly remind myself that the world isn't going to end if I need an extra day to do something. Life is about enjoying the rare sunny evening, not working late to get that important-but-not-really-important work task done.
What's mostly amazing to me is that the effort to simplify really came together all within the last week. B was offered the new job, we got an offer on our house, and we found a fantastic, new, urban apartment. I'm looking forward to our new way of life.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Turning 29
My 29th birthday was Friday, and what a weekend! So much to write about.
Most notably, we got an offer on the house. It was a disappointing $20k less than our asking price. We decided we're okay walking away without our down payment, so we countered at $5k more than what they offered. They have until tomorrow at noon to respond, so keep your fingers crossed.
Most of my birthday day was spent at a super boring conference for work. I skipped the last session and was happy to discover B had also gotten off of work early. He's not a fan of berry picking, but since he knew I loved it he took me to a local farm to pick some hood strawberries. Yum! The day was beautiful and sunny, and it was nice to spend some time together outside.
On Sunday (today) I turned those berries into some awesome freezer jam. I love making freezer jam because it is SO easy.
First you wash, de-stem, and mash your berries.
Next you heat the pectin, sugar, and water.
Then add the mash to the pectin/sugar mix.
Stir.
Put in freezable containers.
That's it! In less than an hour you have quite a bit of jam. For us this lasts most of the winter. It's delicious and I love knowing that we made jam from berries that we picked.
Saturday night we went to the local balloon festival. At night they light up 6 hot air balloons and there is a festival with food, a live band, rides, and random booths. It was nice because we rode our bikes there and enjoyed the summer weather. Sorry for the blurry shots - night photos are a challenge!
This weekend also included dessert out with my family, a trip to the spa with my mom (heavenly), and finding an apartment we love if we get good news tomorrow. I also helped out at the cat shelter for their annual kitten adoption event. 54 cats and kittens found new homes! All in all, it was a fantastic weekend and a very nice start to 29.
Most notably, we got an offer on the house. It was a disappointing $20k less than our asking price. We decided we're okay walking away without our down payment, so we countered at $5k more than what they offered. They have until tomorrow at noon to respond, so keep your fingers crossed.
Most of my birthday day was spent at a super boring conference for work. I skipped the last session and was happy to discover B had also gotten off of work early. He's not a fan of berry picking, but since he knew I loved it he took me to a local farm to pick some hood strawberries. Yum! The day was beautiful and sunny, and it was nice to spend some time together outside.
On Sunday (today) I turned those berries into some awesome freezer jam. I love making freezer jam because it is SO easy.
First you wash, de-stem, and mash your berries.
Next you heat the pectin, sugar, and water.
Then add the mash to the pectin/sugar mix.
Stir.
Put in freezable containers.
That's it! In less than an hour you have quite a bit of jam. For us this lasts most of the winter. It's delicious and I love knowing that we made jam from berries that we picked.
Saturday night we went to the local balloon festival. At night they light up 6 hot air balloons and there is a festival with food, a live band, rides, and random booths. It was nice because we rode our bikes there and enjoyed the summer weather. Sorry for the blurry shots - night photos are a challenge!
This weekend also included dessert out with my family, a trip to the spa with my mom (heavenly), and finding an apartment we love if we get good news tomorrow. I also helped out at the cat shelter for their annual kitten adoption event. 54 cats and kittens found new homes! All in all, it was a fantastic weekend and a very nice start to 29.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Favorite time of day
Some people love 5pm, when the work horn sounds and they are free to spend the evening as they choose. Some people love 5am, rising with the sun, and heading off to a morning exercise people. Some people love the 15 minutes in the morning with a freshly poured cup of coffee and the morning newspaper.
My favorite time is none of those (although all but 5am are nice times for me). My favorite time of the day is 6:12am. Exactly. That's the time the alarm goes off, waking us up with whatever happens to be on the radio at that time. (aside: damn the mornings when it is that really annoying Quizno's jingle that makes the hair on your arm stand on end).
I'm not a morning person at all, but at 6:12am, my husband sleepily pushes the snooze button, moves all the pillows out from the middle of the bed (we both like snuggle pillows), scoots towards me in our divine king-sized bed, and puts his arms around me nice and tight. For the next 10 glorious minutes I'm engulfed in his arms, remembering on our first date how I loved that he was a great hugger. I feel safe, loved, warm, and often fall back asleep for a few minutes. It is absolutely the highlight of my day. Sometimes it's just the little things.
When is your favorite time of day?
My favorite time is none of those (although all but 5am are nice times for me). My favorite time of the day is 6:12am. Exactly. That's the time the alarm goes off, waking us up with whatever happens to be on the radio at that time. (aside: damn the mornings when it is that really annoying Quizno's jingle that makes the hair on your arm stand on end).
I'm not a morning person at all, but at 6:12am, my husband sleepily pushes the snooze button, moves all the pillows out from the middle of the bed (we both like snuggle pillows), scoots towards me in our divine king-sized bed, and puts his arms around me nice and tight. For the next 10 glorious minutes I'm engulfed in his arms, remembering on our first date how I loved that he was a great hugger. I feel safe, loved, warm, and often fall back asleep for a few minutes. It is absolutely the highlight of my day. Sometimes it's just the little things.
When is your favorite time of day?
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sometimes you have to make a decision to know it's the wrong one
In September 2009, after a grueling year of off and on looking, we finally bought a house. After all, that's the American dream, right? We were convinced this was our dream house that we'd live in for many, many years. It was a house we never thought we could afford, but it was bank owned and we were able to buy it within our budget. Granite countertops! Kitchen island! Soaking tub! Double sinks! We were thrilled.
In November 2009 I ended up leaving my job if the past 6 years for a new opportunity. This new job is 16.4 miles from our beautiful house. While that may not be far for many of you, that's an eternity away when you live in a city with traffic. The commute is an hour plus each way, making me feel like those people in L.A. that I always laughed at. "Why would anyone in their right mind spend 2 hours a day in their car?" My record commute one unpredicted snowy day (with only about an inch of snow) was just over 4 hours. Yes, FOUR hours. The breaking point was a day about 2 months ago where I hit the one hour mark of driving far from our house and started to cry. I cried the rest of the way home. We had a long conversation that night and decided to sell the house.
While the commute is a huge factor (and I love my job and it's a steady one that I can have for all of eternity if I want to), we also realized that owning isn't important to us. While it's touted as this awesome thing, it isn't really. Our mortgage plus utilities is more than twice what we were paying for rent. We are very lucky that our house is new and has no yard, so we spend very little time working on the house. We do spend so much time cleaning the 2,300 square feet (and we only live in about 1,300 of it). The "tax benefits" were non-existant for us, and although people are always say that you're gaining equity, that doesn't really happen for years. Of the $2,000ish that we pay, a whopping $300 goes to principal. The rest is interest and taxes.
So the house is on the market (first realtor just fired) and we're looking forward to going back to renting whenever we can sell. We are looking to move into trendier areas of town with easy walking/biking to local restaurants and shops. The burbs are nice, but we're young(ish), kid-free, and ready to be urbanites for awhile. I completely understand why some people like to own, but we're happily going back to the rental life.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Time to build an ark
There was an article in our local paper on Monday that I'll summarize to save you the reading:
- 1.48 inches of rain Sunday, which is more than the usual monthly total
- That rain brought us to 3.09 inches for the month (and it was only June 7)
- 3.09 inches was the 4th rainiest June in history
- By June 7 we had a new record for May+June rain (May was 3rd wettest in history)
- April had 25 days of rain, for a total of 52/67 days with rain since April 1
Today is Thursday. We've added 3 more days of rain since Monday, and it's now the 3rd wettest in history. (EDIT: 2 hours after I posted this we cracked into the top two) We also just set a record today for the latest date in the year to have not had a day 80 degrees or hotter.
Now all this weather is a bummer, don't get me wrong. However, I'm a native. My brain and body are wired for grey skies and drizzle (a term that I've learned is new to many who aren't from here - that and "spendy"). I don't mind a long stretch of rain because it makes things green and makes the world smell wonderfully. Sure, I'm ready for sun now, but we had a very mild winter, so I'm okay paying my dues.
On the flip side, B is a native of South Florida. The land of sunshine, beaches, and flip flops and shorts at Christmas. He distinctly remembers the ONE time they had a "frost warning" because the entire area panicked. He moved to Portland before we met, but I know he'd be long gone if it weren't for me. The grey is really hard on him. The endless days of no sun and copious amounts of rain are soul-crushing for him. The witty, sarcastic, silly man I love disappears when the rain stretches more than a few days. We were able to get away to Vegas and get some sun in May, which was great, but it has rained almost every day since we've been back. I've promised that we won't be here forever (more than 5 more years), but since my family is here and I really like my job, we're stuck here for now.
Lest this post be too depressing, check out the 7 day forecast. My soul is singing.
- 1.48 inches of rain Sunday, which is more than the usual monthly total
- That rain brought us to 3.09 inches for the month (and it was only June 7)
- 3.09 inches was the 4th rainiest June in history
- By June 7 we had a new record for May+June rain (May was 3rd wettest in history)
- April had 25 days of rain, for a total of 52/67 days with rain since April 1
Today is Thursday. We've added 3 more days of rain since Monday, and it's now the 3rd wettest in history. (EDIT: 2 hours after I posted this we cracked into the top two) We also just set a record today for the latest date in the year to have not had a day 80 degrees or hotter.
Now all this weather is a bummer, don't get me wrong. However, I'm a native. My brain and body are wired for grey skies and drizzle (a term that I've learned is new to many who aren't from here - that and "spendy"). I don't mind a long stretch of rain because it makes things green and makes the world smell wonderfully. Sure, I'm ready for sun now, but we had a very mild winter, so I'm okay paying my dues.
On the flip side, B is a native of South Florida. The land of sunshine, beaches, and flip flops and shorts at Christmas. He distinctly remembers the ONE time they had a "frost warning" because the entire area panicked. He moved to Portland before we met, but I know he'd be long gone if it weren't for me. The grey is really hard on him. The endless days of no sun and copious amounts of rain are soul-crushing for him. The witty, sarcastic, silly man I love disappears when the rain stretches more than a few days. We were able to get away to Vegas and get some sun in May, which was great, but it has rained almost every day since we've been back. I've promised that we won't be here forever (more than 5 more years), but since my family is here and I really like my job, we're stuck here for now.
Lest this post be too depressing, check out the 7 day forecast. My soul is singing.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Divergent paths
B is 33 and I'm 28 (29 in 3 weeks), so the reality of life is our friends are having kids. Just this week, we went to happy hour with some old neighbors of ours who just got married last July. They have become close friends of ours, and we love spending time with them. As we sat down, they announced that they had just found out that day they were expecting.
We did the obligatory "congratulations! How exciting!" and we are genuinely happy for them, since this was a very wanted baby. When we got home though, we walked in the door, looked at each other, and promptly said "shit, more friends we've lost." Although we have 8 months before we "lose" them, we're already grieving the loss of a friendship. A beach trip planned for next month is already heading towards cancellation since the mom-to-be is worried she might be sick.
To add to it, my best friend told us 2 weeks ago that she's 14 weeks pregnant with #2. We've worked REALLY hard to stay friends with she and her husband, and it's worked decently since they are parents who make the child fit their schedule. Never have we heard "we can't meet at that time, it's her nap time" or "can we go to a place like Red Robin since it's really loud and kid-friendly?" It has meant that we can't have grown-up outings to most happy hours, we can't go wine tasting, and they are out for beach getaways (since a toddler ruins some of the fun), but we do our best to make it work. It helps that they have taught their little girl to be well-behaved and they do not tolerate throwing food on the floor, shrieking, and any other horrifying behavior that most parents seem to be okay with.
We don't have any plans to have kids in the near future, maybe ever. That makes it basically impossible to have friends with kids. Sorry, we don't care about how often your kid poops, the stupid videos you post of your kid staring at a dot on the carpet for 30 minutes (true story!), or discussing the pros and cons of cloth diapering. While a new parent finds those topics fascinating, I don't. I'm not anti-baby, but it sucks to lose your friends to parenthood. It sucks even more when you know you're likely never going to re-join them as friends since kids aren't a plan.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for my friends that really want children. It's just hard to watch a friendship dissolve because the parental social life falls to the wayside. That in itself makes me feel for the parents that don't realize getting away from the baby is healthy, normal, and beneficial to all involved. I know babies mean changes, but I firmly believe they DON'T mean "only one of 2 restaurants of the parent's choice (because they are loud and the kid can scream there), driving 45 minutes to go to said restaurants, and only being able to go to dinner at 4pm because 'earlier the baby is sleeping and later he needs to eat his dinner so we have to be home.'" Yes, the latter actually happened to us. I'm willing to call around and find a happy hour that allows kids, and I'm willing to be flexible on time (5, 6, 7, okay!), but I'm not willing to be ridiculous.
For now, we hold on tight to the ever-dwindling friends of ours that are kid-free. The reality is that that group is likely to shrink to zero in the next few years. How can we find couples like us? We jokingly say we're going to be peer-pressured into having a baby just so we can have friends!
We did the obligatory "congratulations! How exciting!" and we are genuinely happy for them, since this was a very wanted baby. When we got home though, we walked in the door, looked at each other, and promptly said "shit, more friends we've lost." Although we have 8 months before we "lose" them, we're already grieving the loss of a friendship. A beach trip planned for next month is already heading towards cancellation since the mom-to-be is worried she might be sick.
To add to it, my best friend told us 2 weeks ago that she's 14 weeks pregnant with #2. We've worked REALLY hard to stay friends with she and her husband, and it's worked decently since they are parents who make the child fit their schedule. Never have we heard "we can't meet at that time, it's her nap time" or "can we go to a place like Red Robin since it's really loud and kid-friendly?" It has meant that we can't have grown-up outings to most happy hours, we can't go wine tasting, and they are out for beach getaways (since a toddler ruins some of the fun), but we do our best to make it work. It helps that they have taught their little girl to be well-behaved and they do not tolerate throwing food on the floor, shrieking, and any other horrifying behavior that most parents seem to be okay with.
We don't have any plans to have kids in the near future, maybe ever. That makes it basically impossible to have friends with kids. Sorry, we don't care about how often your kid poops, the stupid videos you post of your kid staring at a dot on the carpet for 30 minutes (true story!), or discussing the pros and cons of cloth diapering. While a new parent finds those topics fascinating, I don't. I'm not anti-baby, but it sucks to lose your friends to parenthood. It sucks even more when you know you're likely never going to re-join them as friends since kids aren't a plan.
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for my friends that really want children. It's just hard to watch a friendship dissolve because the parental social life falls to the wayside. That in itself makes me feel for the parents that don't realize getting away from the baby is healthy, normal, and beneficial to all involved. I know babies mean changes, but I firmly believe they DON'T mean "only one of 2 restaurants of the parent's choice (because they are loud and the kid can scream there), driving 45 minutes to go to said restaurants, and only being able to go to dinner at 4pm because 'earlier the baby is sleeping and later he needs to eat his dinner so we have to be home.'" Yes, the latter actually happened to us. I'm willing to call around and find a happy hour that allows kids, and I'm willing to be flexible on time (5, 6, 7, okay!), but I'm not willing to be ridiculous.
For now, we hold on tight to the ever-dwindling friends of ours that are kid-free. The reality is that that group is likely to shrink to zero in the next few years. How can we find couples like us? We jokingly say we're going to be peer-pressured into having a baby just so we can have friends!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Size issues
Somehow I've started getting a subscription to Glamour magazine. I think it might have been something to use up expiring airline miles, but I'm not sure. It's not really my style, but since it's free, I flip through it when it comes.
The June issue had an article about bathing suits. The article proudly bragged about using a "plus sized" model. She's a size 12, and this was the picture they used.
I was reading it during dinner, so I quickly showed it to B and asked for his honest opinion if I was bigger or smaller than this woman. In complete honesty, there was nothing tricky behind my question. To me, this woman looks much smaller than a size 12, and I think I look a lot like her (except with bigger boobs!). If anything, I think I'm a bit bigger than her, especially in the hip region which seems to be preparing for childbirth although there is no baby in sight.
When I asked B about the size comparison, I was expecting him to agree with me that there was NO WAY that model is a size 12. I'm usually a size 8, and I felt pretty sure I was about the same size as this woman. I showed him the photo, and he quickly and honestly said "you're totally smaller than her." He said it so nonchalantly that I knew that was the complete truth. There wasn't a hint of "say smaller to make your wife feel skinny" at all.
I'll have to grab a recent photo of me when I get to my laptop, but I find this phenomenon so interesting. Do all women think they are much bigger than they really are, or is it just me? While I don't think I'm obese or anything, I could stand to lose 10lbs or so. It just seems so bizarre that my own personal vision of myself is at least 2 sizes bigger than I really am. Why is this? Am I alone in this? Why do I have such a distorted view of what I look like? While I ponder these things, I'll be sitting here, smiling, thinking about my husband inadvertently making me feel thin (even if it might be closer to reality than my view).
The June issue had an article about bathing suits. The article proudly bragged about using a "plus sized" model. She's a size 12, and this was the picture they used.
I was reading it during dinner, so I quickly showed it to B and asked for his honest opinion if I was bigger or smaller than this woman. In complete honesty, there was nothing tricky behind my question. To me, this woman looks much smaller than a size 12, and I think I look a lot like her (except with bigger boobs!). If anything, I think I'm a bit bigger than her, especially in the hip region which seems to be preparing for childbirth although there is no baby in sight.
When I asked B about the size comparison, I was expecting him to agree with me that there was NO WAY that model is a size 12. I'm usually a size 8, and I felt pretty sure I was about the same size as this woman. I showed him the photo, and he quickly and honestly said "you're totally smaller than her." He said it so nonchalantly that I knew that was the complete truth. There wasn't a hint of "say smaller to make your wife feel skinny" at all.
I'll have to grab a recent photo of me when I get to my laptop, but I find this phenomenon so interesting. Do all women think they are much bigger than they really are, or is it just me? While I don't think I'm obese or anything, I could stand to lose 10lbs or so. It just seems so bizarre that my own personal vision of myself is at least 2 sizes bigger than I really am. Why is this? Am I alone in this? Why do I have such a distorted view of what I look like? While I ponder these things, I'll be sitting here, smiling, thinking about my husband inadvertently making me feel thin (even if it might be closer to reality than my view).
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