I sit in the chair, watching the nurses and doctors shuffle around him.
In pain, he winces and scoots over on the hospital bed and pats the space he has just made beside him, for me to sit there.
I move next to him.
He closes his eyes as the morphine sets in.
He grabs my hand, because there is a level of comfort that your spouse can provide that no one else can.
As the morphine takes hold, he looks at me and reminds me to “Always take you ovaltine.” I laugh.
It’s quiet for a moment, so he quietly starts singing. He hates quiet. I know the pain is better if he’s singing.
He looks at me and apologizes for keeping me up so late – tells me that I should go home and sleep.
I ask if he’d leave me all alone in the hospital, and he says “Of course not.” I remind him that I’d never leave him alone either.
He looks sad and says he feels badly, since I’m pregnant.
I tell him to stop being silly. I’m fine.
A new nurse walks in, and he tells her that he was tired of me getting all of the attention, so he wanted some of his own. She laughs.
She takes him up to the surgery wing, and tells me where I can wait.
I give him two kisses before they wheel him away and tell him that I love him.
The nurse tells me they will take good care of him.
I love him.
I can’t watch them wheel him away.
There is always a small lingering fear that he won't come back.
A long 2 hours later the doctor comes out.
He's okay, although the surgery was more complicated than they had hoped.
I wait for another hour to see him.
His first words to me? "Hi baby. You should go home and sleep now. I'm sorry for keeping you up."
He's always worried about me.
I love him.
------
He's home now.
Of course, he still doesn't ask anything of me.
"You're pregnant, I should be taking care of you."
Of course, I don't listen.
We all need to be taken care of.
I love him.
I'm happy to have him home.
So is the cat, who won't stop following him around.
They are best buddies.
I guess we both love him :)
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Grateful
Today I am grateful for friends that offer to help us an any way we need (we're doing okay!).
Today I am grateful for health insurance.
Today I am grateful for high quality doctors.
Today I am grateful for flexible work schedules.
Today I am grateful for snuggly kitties that are thrilled to have a mama at home.
Today I am grateful that my husband is recovering comfortably from his emergency appendectomy last night.
Last night was a whirlwind. Bryan had been having stomach pains for a day or so, and they were getting worse. We checked into the ER just after 8pm, and by 11pm (after waiting for 2 hours or so to be seen) the on-call surgeon was saying he was "textbook appendicitis" and would be hopefully in surgery by 12am. I think he finally went in about 12:30am, while I fretted (okay, cried - it should be against the law to give a husband informed consent and tell him about 50 times that he "could die" during surgery in front of his 5 months pregnant wife!) in the waiting room and watched episode after episode of Little People.
They came to talk to me at 2am saying the surgery had gone well, but it was more complicated than they expected so his recovery might take a little longer. I was able to see him about 3am, and he was doing well. I waited while they got him settled in his room and chatted with him a little, before I finally headed home and got to bed about 4:30am. Depending on pain control he'll either come home late today or sometime tomorrow. I'm off to see him shortly. I'm so grateful for the extraordinary care he received and how quickly they addressed the situation that we had no idea was so serious. Now he's short one more unnecessary organ and has 3 new holes on his belly. I can't wait to have him back home. It's very quiet without him!
Today I am grateful for health insurance.
Today I am grateful for high quality doctors.
Today I am grateful for flexible work schedules.
Today I am grateful for snuggly kitties that are thrilled to have a mama at home.
Today I am grateful that my husband is recovering comfortably from his emergency appendectomy last night.
Last night was a whirlwind. Bryan had been having stomach pains for a day or so, and they were getting worse. We checked into the ER just after 8pm, and by 11pm (after waiting for 2 hours or so to be seen) the on-call surgeon was saying he was "textbook appendicitis" and would be hopefully in surgery by 12am. I think he finally went in about 12:30am, while I fretted (okay, cried - it should be against the law to give a husband informed consent and tell him about 50 times that he "could die" during surgery in front of his 5 months pregnant wife!) in the waiting room and watched episode after episode of Little People.
They came to talk to me at 2am saying the surgery had gone well, but it was more complicated than they expected so his recovery might take a little longer. I was able to see him about 3am, and he was doing well. I waited while they got him settled in his room and chatted with him a little, before I finally headed home and got to bed about 4:30am. Depending on pain control he'll either come home late today or sometime tomorrow. I'm off to see him shortly. I'm so grateful for the extraordinary care he received and how quickly they addressed the situation that we had no idea was so serious. Now he's short one more unnecessary organ and has 3 new holes on his belly. I can't wait to have him back home. It's very quiet without him!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Quick trip
I'm currently snuggled into my Hyatt hotel bed in the middle of a crazy work trip to DC. My boss finagled an invite for me to a Lynch Syndrome (hereditary colon cancer) meeting. It's a 1-day meeting on Friday. So that means I had the 6am flight out today, arrived in DC at 4pm, and I need to be at NIH tomorrow morning at 8am - which is 5am Portland time. PAINFUL after getting up today at 3:45a for my flight. Then she and I fly out tomorrow at 5:30p. It's nuts!
I love DC, and I'm sad I don't have longer here. I would love to have B along with me too. I wandered near my hotel to find some dinner, and I came upon a charming little French bistro. B would have loved it, and although I enjoyed my book and the lovely hostess that gave me extra food when she found out I was pregnant "to nourish the mama and the baby," I missed my other half. It feels odd to try out new places with him. He's SUCH a foodie, and everyone that has ever met him knows that about him.
On the baby front, things are going well. Here's me, rockin' the maternity pants, at 15 weeks last Saturday:
I feel like I look a lot bigger, although I'm only up 4lbs so far. The nausea has subsided, and was brief in duration. I'm still tired, but it is nothing like it was several weeks ago. I attribute most of the tiredness now to the trouble sleeping, which everyone "helpfully" reminds me is only going to get worse. Other than that, I'm feeling very lucky that I'm doing well, and I'm feeling especially grateful to have a supportive husband that is very engaged and excited about our impending life change.
In preparation of the baby, we've been looking at smaller SUVs. While we like our Mazda3, it's small and wasn't a car that either of us loved. Since we share one car, we agreed it was time to start looking around. We drove the Subaru Forrester, Honda CRV, Kia Optima, and sat in the RAV4 (it was too ugly inside to even bother driving). Bryan dragged me kicking and screaming to try out the Chevy Equinox. It is currently the top rated SUV in its class, but I really dislike American cars. After driving it though, this now sits in our driveway :)
So far so good. We decided to lease this time. Our car payment isn't any more than the Mazda was, so we traded straight across. I can't wait to break in the 4WD with our final pre-baby ski trip on Saturday. B said he's even going to give it one more try!
I love DC, and I'm sad I don't have longer here. I would love to have B along with me too. I wandered near my hotel to find some dinner, and I came upon a charming little French bistro. B would have loved it, and although I enjoyed my book and the lovely hostess that gave me extra food when she found out I was pregnant "to nourish the mama and the baby," I missed my other half. It feels odd to try out new places with him. He's SUCH a foodie, and everyone that has ever met him knows that about him.
On the baby front, things are going well. Here's me, rockin' the maternity pants, at 15 weeks last Saturday:
I feel like I look a lot bigger, although I'm only up 4lbs so far. The nausea has subsided, and was brief in duration. I'm still tired, but it is nothing like it was several weeks ago. I attribute most of the tiredness now to the trouble sleeping, which everyone "helpfully" reminds me is only going to get worse. Other than that, I'm feeling very lucky that I'm doing well, and I'm feeling especially grateful to have a supportive husband that is very engaged and excited about our impending life change.
In preparation of the baby, we've been looking at smaller SUVs. While we like our Mazda3, it's small and wasn't a car that either of us loved. Since we share one car, we agreed it was time to start looking around. We drove the Subaru Forrester, Honda CRV, Kia Optima, and sat in the RAV4 (it was too ugly inside to even bother driving). Bryan dragged me kicking and screaming to try out the Chevy Equinox. It is currently the top rated SUV in its class, but I really dislike American cars. After driving it though, this now sits in our driveway :)
So far so good. We decided to lease this time. Our car payment isn't any more than the Mazda was, so we traded straight across. I can't wait to break in the 4WD with our final pre-baby ski trip on Saturday. B said he's even going to give it one more try!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Schmoopy
I was taking a walk today with a newly divorce co-worker of mine, and she asked if we had any plans for Valentines Day. I told her no, that we don't usually do silly holidays like that, and B isn't a super romantic guy anyway. It's just not his thing. She asked if that bothered me, and I said no way. Romance to most women means flowers, jewelry, mushy cards, etc. B is romantic in many other ways. He makes dinner sometimes, he does the laundry without me asking, he regularly does the dishes, mops the floors, and vacuums without me asking. I'll take that kind of romance any day!
That said, he walked in the door today with a card (funnily enough one that I had bought to give to him) and a cute little gift bag. Inside of it was this very cute onesie. So much for never being romantic :)
On an unrelated note, 2 weeks ago we went to our favorite B&B for the very last time. Sadly, they are losing their dream to the bank due to the poor economy. We headed down on Thursday after work. Friday we spent the day snowshoeing on Mt. Bachelor. You know what a beautiful day it is when you are snowshoeing in a t-shirt!
It was hard work after a winter spent being overcome with pregnancy fatigue (and the associated father-to-be sympathy fatigue), but we had a great time.
My co-worker/friend and her partner joined us at the B&B on Friday night. Saturday we went skiing and had the same gloriously sunny weather.
Despite not skiing for over a year, I thankfully wasn't the weak link. We had a blast on the easy runs, and only got scared once when the weather conditions further up the mountain were windy and VERY icy. We quickly came back to the green runs where we belonged! B chose to hang out in the lodge, drink beer, and play on his Kindle Fire, but I think he enjoyed the peace and quiet for a few hours. We had a fantastic time with our friends, and we sadly bid goodbye to one of our favorite weekend getaways.
I hit 13 weeks while we were at the B&B, but I forgot to take a photo, so you get this week's 14 week photo.
It's a far cry from where I started at 5 weeks!
I finally had to cave and buy some maternity jeans this week. Holy moly elastic waistbands are my new best friend! I'm not sure how I'll ever go back to zippers :)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
2012 is going to be big!
Yep, we're having a baby! Due in mid-August (ignore the 15w thing in the photo. It is based on LMP which is wrong). I'm feeling really good except for some minor fatigue in the late afternoon/evening. My NP says that should be done shortly. Other than that, not much to report. I feel very lucky after reading some of the pregnancy chat boards. We have been overwhelmed by how excited everyone is for us (and underwhelmed at the lackluster response from a couple of friends. Note to them, "I'm sorry" is not an appropriate response when someone tells you they are having a baby!). We are so grateful to have such wonderful people in our lives. The baby gifts have already started arriving. While it is still early, I can't help but gush over the cute little clothes. Even B has been known to let an "awwww" sneak out when my mom buys a cute monkey outfit :)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
My few-days-late 2011 recap.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Went skydiving, watched my sister become a mom, and, oh yeah, got pregnant.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made a resolution a few years ago to stop making new year's resolutions. I've been fantastic at keeping up with it :)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Although she didn't technically give birth, my sister has a new baby.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My great aunt Pat (my dad's last living relative besides us kids) died in January, just a couple of weeks before I had tickes to go see her. She was 102 and had a GREAT life, but it was still really sad.
5. What countries did you visit?
In terms of countries, only Mexico. We also went on vacations to Arizona and Florida, and we had a few weekend getaways to Bend sprinkled in there.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Work stability for both of us, even if that means reduced hours. Stability would make our lives so much easier.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 4 - seeing the Grand Canyon
July 14 - the day we closed on our house
November 30 - the day of the positive pee
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Buying a "fancy" bike and becoming a bike commuter. Okay, so I was only brave enough to do it in the summer and fall, but that's mostly due to being afraid to ride in the pitch black dark after work. OH, I almost forgot about training for the Couch to 5k and running my first 2 5k's in over a decade - plus surviving the Warrior Dash.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as patient as I would like to be. Patience is a virtue that I do not always posess.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully no, unless pregnancy fatigue is considered an illness.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
It's a tie between our house, our new bikes, and the new french door refrigerator.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Into retirement!
13. What did you get really excited about?
Having a house of our own again and not having to hear every.single.thing the neighbors were doing on the other side of our paper thin apartment walls.
14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Anything Katy Perry. Her music was the soundtrack to our new running routine.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? about the same
– thinner or fatter? Officially thinner due to the weight-loss from starting to run, but that is likely quick to flip around with the little one in my belly.
– richer or poorer? richer. My aunt Pat generously left my sister and I some money because she didn't have any kids. We squirreled all of it away (except for our house down payment) for retirement. We're still managing to put 25% each into our retirement - all while still traveling and buying things. Our financial planner even laughed at us when we said we didn't need any of the stock income and asked if we ever did anything besides stare at each other! We go out all the time, we just don't blow huge wads of cash on things like clothes or furniture.
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveling - especially to other countries
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about things I can't control or change. I think I have made huge strides in that area.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve my parents came over and we made them a nice dinner. Christmas Day was with my parents, sister, and BIL. We spilled the beans about the baby. They cried with joy. It was awesome.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
In our DVR (that we both watch) we have Amazing Race, Modern Family, The Office, Up All Night, Top Chef, and a random smattering of HGTV shows.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
The Hunger Games trilogy, although I wasn't a fan of the ending. Divergent by Veronia Roth. I also enjoyed The Help.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Katy Perry. Yes, I dragged B to see her in concert.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
I barely remember ever even seeing movies! I remember liking Bridesmaids a lot. I remember thinking Contagion was insanely boring.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
B took me skydiving for my 30th birthday! It was a beautifully clear day and we could see all the way to Mt. Shasta. It was amazing.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More stability and peace in our work. Getting our business idea a bit further.
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Comfortable. My workmates would likely say cute and fashionable, but they are in their 50's and don't count!
26. What kept you sane?
B. He has been awesome at picking up my slack as I've been overcome with pregnancy exhaustion. Also, my mom. She is 100% there anytime we need her, and I never doubt how much she loves us.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Stop worrying about things you can't control. Worrying isn't going to fix it, and it will just make you feel bad. Also, money isn't everything.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Went skydiving, watched my sister become a mom, and, oh yeah, got pregnant.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I made a resolution a few years ago to stop making new year's resolutions. I've been fantastic at keeping up with it :)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Although she didn't technically give birth, my sister has a new baby.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My great aunt Pat (my dad's last living relative besides us kids) died in January, just a couple of weeks before I had tickes to go see her. She was 102 and had a GREAT life, but it was still really sad.
5. What countries did you visit?
In terms of countries, only Mexico. We also went on vacations to Arizona and Florida, and we had a few weekend getaways to Bend sprinkled in there.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Work stability for both of us, even if that means reduced hours. Stability would make our lives so much easier.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 4 - seeing the Grand Canyon
July 14 - the day we closed on our house
November 30 - the day of the positive pee
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Buying a "fancy" bike and becoming a bike commuter. Okay, so I was only brave enough to do it in the summer and fall, but that's mostly due to being afraid to ride in the pitch black dark after work. OH, I almost forgot about training for the Couch to 5k and running my first 2 5k's in over a decade - plus surviving the Warrior Dash.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as patient as I would like to be. Patience is a virtue that I do not always posess.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully no, unless pregnancy fatigue is considered an illness.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
It's a tie between our house, our new bikes, and the new french door refrigerator.
12. Where did most of your money go?
Into retirement!
13. What did you get really excited about?
Having a house of our own again and not having to hear every.single.thing the neighbors were doing on the other side of our paper thin apartment walls.
14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Anything Katy Perry. Her music was the soundtrack to our new running routine.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– happier or sadder? about the same
– thinner or fatter? Officially thinner due to the weight-loss from starting to run, but that is likely quick to flip around with the little one in my belly.
– richer or poorer? richer. My aunt Pat generously left my sister and I some money because she didn't have any kids. We squirreled all of it away (except for our house down payment) for retirement. We're still managing to put 25% each into our retirement - all while still traveling and buying things. Our financial planner even laughed at us when we said we didn't need any of the stock income and asked if we ever did anything besides stare at each other! We go out all the time, we just don't blow huge wads of cash on things like clothes or furniture.
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveling - especially to other countries
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about things I can't control or change. I think I have made huge strides in that area.
18. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve my parents came over and we made them a nice dinner. Christmas Day was with my parents, sister, and BIL. We spilled the beans about the baby. They cried with joy. It was awesome.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
In our DVR (that we both watch) we have Amazing Race, Modern Family, The Office, Up All Night, Top Chef, and a random smattering of HGTV shows.
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
The Hunger Games trilogy, although I wasn't a fan of the ending. Divergent by Veronia Roth. I also enjoyed The Help.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?
Katy Perry. Yes, I dragged B to see her in concert.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
I barely remember ever even seeing movies! I remember liking Bridesmaids a lot. I remember thinking Contagion was insanely boring.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
B took me skydiving for my 30th birthday! It was a beautifully clear day and we could see all the way to Mt. Shasta. It was amazing.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More stability and peace in our work. Getting our business idea a bit further.
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Comfortable. My workmates would likely say cute and fashionable, but they are in their 50's and don't count!
26. What kept you sane?
B. He has been awesome at picking up my slack as I've been overcome with pregnancy exhaustion. Also, my mom. She is 100% there anytime we need her, and I never doubt how much she loves us.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Stop worrying about things you can't control. Worrying isn't going to fix it, and it will just make you feel bad. Also, money isn't everything.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
A time for joy
My sister and her partner have been in the process of adopting for over a year now. It turns out that adopting is an enormous amount of work with blood tests, interviews, references, parenting classes, etc. Seven weeks ago they were chosen as the birth parents for a baby girl. Maisie was born on Friday, and yesterday we went to meet her.
She is so cute, and so sweet. So far she doesn't really cry and she isn't fussy, although at only 4 days old a lot can change! My sister and BIL are doing awesome so far, and I am so happy for them. I love being a new auntie :)
B has another interview tonight, so changes might be on their way for us. It would be nights, but only part-time, which is both a plus and a minus. I've actually gotten a couple of calls lately for interviews, but I turned them down because they weren't different enough from what I do now, and they didn't pay well. For now I'm happy where I am, and if something fantastic comes my way, great. Otherwise I have a good job, good pay, and great benefits.
We're just starting to dip our toes into some home remodeling projects. The kitchen is first up. It doesn't need a ton of work, but it is too small and poorly laid out.
These pictures are a little misleading, as this is when we took possession of the house. The walls are now a little darker, there is a storage pantry on the left wall, and our main dining table is also here. I need to take a new picture! Anyway, this shows our plans. We have already replaced the light with a pretty pendant light. Our new french door fridge is set to arrive in 2 weeks. Now to figure out how to knock down walls and move electrical switches! Not noted in this photo is the plan to add more cabinets and counter space where the fridge is currently. We are short on counter space, so that should help a lot. Should be a fun project!
She is so cute, and so sweet. So far she doesn't really cry and she isn't fussy, although at only 4 days old a lot can change! My sister and BIL are doing awesome so far, and I am so happy for them. I love being a new auntie :)
B has another interview tonight, so changes might be on their way for us. It would be nights, but only part-time, which is both a plus and a minus. I've actually gotten a couple of calls lately for interviews, but I turned them down because they weren't different enough from what I do now, and they didn't pay well. For now I'm happy where I am, and if something fantastic comes my way, great. Otherwise I have a good job, good pay, and great benefits.
We're just starting to dip our toes into some home remodeling projects. The kitchen is first up. It doesn't need a ton of work, but it is too small and poorly laid out.
These pictures are a little misleading, as this is when we took possession of the house. The walls are now a little darker, there is a storage pantry on the left wall, and our main dining table is also here. I need to take a new picture! Anyway, this shows our plans. We have already replaced the light with a pretty pendant light. Our new french door fridge is set to arrive in 2 weeks. Now to figure out how to knock down walls and move electrical switches! Not noted in this photo is the plan to add more cabinets and counter space where the fridge is currently. We are short on counter space, so that should help a lot. Should be a fun project!
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