I feel very fortunate to have lost very few people in my life. Somehow though, the number being so small (3 main people come to mind) makes them feel infinitely more painful.
My grandfather died when I was 14 from ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). Although he was a tough, strict, often unkind father to my mom and her 3 brothers, he was a fabulous grandfather. I was the first grandchild and we had a very close relationship. We used to spend hours, he and my grandma and me, doing the daily jumble and wordsearch from the "funnies" section of the paper. As my grandmother's eyesight began to fail from the ravages of macular degeneration, he and I would sit at the kitchen table and race to see who could get all of the words found from the wordsearch first. I vividly remember the first time ever that I beat him.
I thought I was finally smart enough to beat him.
Little did I know, but the horrible yet-to-be-diagnosed-disease that would take him from me made it very hard to him to make the fine motor movements to circle the letters in the puzzle.
In addition to word games, my grandpa and I spent hours gardening. He was a fastidious (some would say anal retentive) gardener. His garden consisted of 3 main flowers - fuchsias, which hung from baskets around the carport each summer, roses, which lined the "boulevard" in front of his house, and dahlias, which were the crux of the main small garden. If you know anything about gardening, you know that roses and fuchsias are messy flowers. When they start to die, they drop their flowers. Grandpa thought that it was a sin to have a stray petal in your garden, or a dead fuchsia on the ground. God forbid the dahlias grew too tall and started to bend before you got around to staking them.
My grandpa was an A+ gardener though, and never was an errant petal in the dirt for more than a day. The dahlias were staked from day one, and once weekly they were re-tied. He would walk around every evening and pluck the dying fuchsia flowers before they had a chance to fall. I loved gardening with him.
This summer, two major things happened that made me miss my grandpa. My husband and I bought our first house together, and my grandma moved out of the house she and my grandpa had owned since 1960. I wanted nothing more than to have grandpa help me plant some roses in my yard. I dreamed of the previously-loathed one day per year at Fred Meyer where scads of people line up because they pot your fuchsias for you. He wasn't there to help me. Not only that, but the dahlias that I had faithfully tied up at his house every year since his death were ripped out by the new owner of the house to make room for more grass. I cried over the loss of some stupid flower bulbs. Of course, it wasn't the bulbs I missed. I missed the last connection I had to my grandpa. I knew each time I trimmed the roses and tied up the dahlias that he was proud of me, happy that the neighbors weren't walking past his garden and thinking "Jim never would have let the petals fall off the roses like that."
I miss him. I miss him more as an adult than I did as a self-centered teenager. I have a garden, both in my yard and in my heart, that needs some tending.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Starting Over - the story
About 2.5 years ago, I moved 3,000 miles away from everyone and everything I knew to go to school for my PhD. I started a blog as a way to keep in touch with friends, family, and my boyfriend. I shared that blog address with pretty much everyone, and met some great "blog friends" along the way.
Fast forward a year and a half, and that boyfriend became my husband. Along with him came his family, who really didn't like me. Although the aforementioned blog was very benign and rarely said anything controversial, every.single.post was followed by a nasty phone call/email from my new in-laws (to my husband, not to me) about how "I can't believe she said XYZ on her blog," or "I can't believe she didn't say XYZ on her blog." It completely took all of the fun out of blogging, and for the sake of my sanity and my relationship, I had to stop.
I found myself missing the writing outlet and the ability it gives me to record things that happen in my life. So a few months ago I started this blog, but I was too busy at work to give it the time it needed. I hope to be back on track now, find some of my "long lost" blog readers, and start anew. I'd like to post my daily wanderings, but I'd also like this to be a space for some friendly debate. If you're a new reader, please say hello! Just don't tell my in-laws about this blog :)
Fast forward a year and a half, and that boyfriend became my husband. Along with him came his family, who really didn't like me. Although the aforementioned blog was very benign and rarely said anything controversial, every.single.post was followed by a nasty phone call/email from my new in-laws (to my husband, not to me) about how "I can't believe she said XYZ on her blog," or "I can't believe she didn't say XYZ on her blog." It completely took all of the fun out of blogging, and for the sake of my sanity and my relationship, I had to stop.
I found myself missing the writing outlet and the ability it gives me to record things that happen in my life. So a few months ago I started this blog, but I was too busy at work to give it the time it needed. I hope to be back on track now, find some of my "long lost" blog readers, and start anew. I'd like to post my daily wanderings, but I'd also like this to be a space for some friendly debate. If you're a new reader, please say hello! Just don't tell my in-laws about this blog :)
Monday, January 19, 2009
A new begininng
New posts coming soon! What better way to start a new presidency than with a new blog, right? Stay tuned!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Lilac festival changes
One of Rochester's big events is the Lilac Festival, which happens in mid-May every year. It has a parade, lots of craft booths, yummy fair food, live music, and cheesy little kid rides. Of course the highlight were all of the deliciously smelling lilac bushes - I think they had 50+ varieties that grow in the park. Last week I even bought a room spray in lilac because it reminds me of the festival.
Bryan and I have made it to 3 Lilac Festivals in a row. I thought it would be fun to show how we have changed.
2006 - Bryan's first trip to Rochester, a mere 3 months after we started dating. I was going out for the inspection on my house, and he decided to tag along and come see the city. In hindsight, we clearly both knew at that point we'd end up getting married. We went, prepared for cold, and they had record highs in the 70's that weekend. Bryan is going to kill me for this picture, since he's +20lbs or so here.
2007 - Our second year together, and he has lived in Rochester for only a couple of weeks at this point, newly in nursing school. We took Lani and Cassie, and Lani took this picture (hence the morbidly obese guy in the background - what else can you expect from a 6-year-old?). Again, it was remarkably sunny and warm.
2008 - We returned from our honeymoon just in time for the last day of the festival and to see Ingrid Michelson. We had come from 80-90 degrees and sunny, to 40 degrees and rainy in Rochester, so we weren't too happy. We faked a smile for this picture though :) One week later we left Rochester for good. I just won a grant in Rochester, so maybe I'll have to make one of my 3-4 annual visits in mid-May this coming year.
Bryan and I have made it to 3 Lilac Festivals in a row. I thought it would be fun to show how we have changed.
2006 - Bryan's first trip to Rochester, a mere 3 months after we started dating. I was going out for the inspection on my house, and he decided to tag along and come see the city. In hindsight, we clearly both knew at that point we'd end up getting married. We went, prepared for cold, and they had record highs in the 70's that weekend. Bryan is going to kill me for this picture, since he's +20lbs or so here.
 |
| From Lilac festival 2007 |
2007 - Our second year together, and he has lived in Rochester for only a couple of weeks at this point, newly in nursing school. We took Lani and Cassie, and Lani took this picture (hence the morbidly obese guy in the background - what else can you expect from a 6-year-old?). Again, it was remarkably sunny and warm.
 |
| From Lilac festival 2007 |
2008 - We returned from our honeymoon just in time for the last day of the festival and to see Ingrid Michelson. We had come from 80-90 degrees and sunny, to 40 degrees and rainy in Rochester, so we weren't too happy. We faked a smile for this picture though :) One week later we left Rochester for good. I just won a grant in Rochester, so maybe I'll have to make one of my 3-4 annual visits in mid-May this coming year.
 |
| From Lilac festival 2008 |
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
More funnies
Bryan sometimes says to me sarcastically, "I bet you're going to put that thing I just said on your blog now." I think he secretly enjoys it. The one this morning was too good not to post.
Me (staring at the empty plate of brown crumbs on the table): Is a cupcake all you had for breakfast?
B: No. I had two cupcakes.
Me (staring at the empty plate of brown crumbs on the table): Is a cupcake all you had for breakfast?
B: No. I had two cupcakes.
More funnies
Bryan sometimes says to me sarcastically, "I bet you're going to put that thing I just said on your blog now." I think he secretly enjoys it. The one this morning was too good not to post.
Me (staring at the empty plate of brown crumbs on the table): Is a cupcake all you had for breakfast?
B: No. I had two cupcakes.
Me (staring at the empty plate of brown crumbs on the table): Is a cupcake all you had for breakfast?
B: No. I had two cupcakes.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
How the orthodontist ended up (and BB management is awful)
Many months ago I ranted about my orthodontist in these 2 posts. Someone recently commented that I never gave the ending of the story. Shame on me, because it is a good one!
For those of you who missed the story and didn't click on the link, I waited a very long time at 2 appointments while I had braces, and I was getting them off 6-12 months earlier than they had predicted. I called them wondering if there might be a discount. I know you pay for straight teeth, but my treatment was significantly shorter than they had estimated.
While I was down in Florida for the wedding, I got a call the day before while I was on my way to get my wedding dress pressed. It was the bookkeeper at the orthodontist's office, and she told me she talked to Dr. Kaufman about my case. He decided to WIPE OUT THE REST OF WHAT I OWED. I asked her to say it again, since I didn't believe it! It turned out to be be about $1,900 that I didn't have to pay. Awesome!
-----------------
On a completely different topic, I have to make it known how much BB Management is an awful company. We decided to move closer into the city once our apartment lease was up. I happened upon condo conversions that weren't selling, so they were renting them. I was wowed by the granite counters, SS appliances, pergo floors, and new carpet. The owner who did the flipping had left some things undone and the units have been vacant for awhile, but we were assured that all would be fixed when we moved in. BB Management doesn't do walk-throughs with new owners (we should have said no then), but they told us all was fine. Here is what we found when we moved in:
- the place was filthy
- there was a HOLE in the OUTSIDE wall where there was supposed to be a built-in A/C
- 2 of 3 drains didn't drain
- the hot water on the kitchen faucet and the cold in the tub didn't work
- we weren't given a key to the deadbolt, a key to the mailbox, or the garage door opener
- the heat doesn't work in the master bedroom
- the linen closet shelves are missing
- 2 pieces of granite backsplash in the kitchen aren't attached at all
- the fan cover in the bathroom is missing
- grout was missing in the bathroom floor
- the electrical outlets were missing the covers in the living room and bedroom
- and more that I'm forgetting
The management company basically told us that we were overreacting and that all of this was "just cosmetic." They claimed it wasn't their fault, it was the owner at fault. I'm confused, since on their website it says "we make sure everything is ready BEFORE you move in." It was also now our job to schedule all of the repair guys and let them in since we are the tenants. Um, yeah. We couldn't live in the place because we couldn't heat it due to the HOLE IN THE WALL. We said we wanted out of the lease, and they threatened to sue us for the entire length of the lease. We spoke to an attorney who said we could win in court, but unfortuantely we don't have the time to do all of that. The time off of work would have cost us too much.
We were able to move in 4 days late, with most things fixed (still no bedroom heat). I met the neighbor when we moved in, and she said she had the same AND MORE issues with BB Management. Same with the downstairs neighbor. Had we known this info, we for sure would have sued them. It is clear the management company is knowingly negligent and they know the condition of these condos. They were flipped quickly and the owner ran out of money, so he cut corners wherever he could.
My one consolation in this is that my sister was using BB Management as the marketing company for her place. I didn't know this, nor did she know I was working with them. She figured it out when I told her about the whole situation. She has now canceled her contract with them, and she said they weren't doing anything to market her property. Looks like their crappy service has already cost them one client.
We are in the new place now, and the up side is the location. We're locked in for a year, and we're hoping that things calm down now with BB since we are in (the neighbor said she almost lost her mind when they moved in, but 2 months later it is much smoother). Wish us luck!
For those of you who missed the story and didn't click on the link, I waited a very long time at 2 appointments while I had braces, and I was getting them off 6-12 months earlier than they had predicted. I called them wondering if there might be a discount. I know you pay for straight teeth, but my treatment was significantly shorter than they had estimated.
While I was down in Florida for the wedding, I got a call the day before while I was on my way to get my wedding dress pressed. It was the bookkeeper at the orthodontist's office, and she told me she talked to Dr. Kaufman about my case. He decided to WIPE OUT THE REST OF WHAT I OWED. I asked her to say it again, since I didn't believe it! It turned out to be be about $1,900 that I didn't have to pay. Awesome!
-----------------
On a completely different topic, I have to make it known how much BB Management is an awful company. We decided to move closer into the city once our apartment lease was up. I happened upon condo conversions that weren't selling, so they were renting them. I was wowed by the granite counters, SS appliances, pergo floors, and new carpet. The owner who did the flipping had left some things undone and the units have been vacant for awhile, but we were assured that all would be fixed when we moved in. BB Management doesn't do walk-throughs with new owners (we should have said no then), but they told us all was fine. Here is what we found when we moved in:
- the place was filthy
- there was a HOLE in the OUTSIDE wall where there was supposed to be a built-in A/C
- 2 of 3 drains didn't drain
- the hot water on the kitchen faucet and the cold in the tub didn't work
- we weren't given a key to the deadbolt, a key to the mailbox, or the garage door opener
- the heat doesn't work in the master bedroom
- the linen closet shelves are missing
- 2 pieces of granite backsplash in the kitchen aren't attached at all
- the fan cover in the bathroom is missing
- grout was missing in the bathroom floor
- the electrical outlets were missing the covers in the living room and bedroom
- and more that I'm forgetting
The management company basically told us that we were overreacting and that all of this was "just cosmetic." They claimed it wasn't their fault, it was the owner at fault. I'm confused, since on their website it says "we make sure everything is ready BEFORE you move in." It was also now our job to schedule all of the repair guys and let them in since we are the tenants. Um, yeah. We couldn't live in the place because we couldn't heat it due to the HOLE IN THE WALL. We said we wanted out of the lease, and they threatened to sue us for the entire length of the lease. We spoke to an attorney who said we could win in court, but unfortuantely we don't have the time to do all of that. The time off of work would have cost us too much.
We were able to move in 4 days late, with most things fixed (still no bedroom heat). I met the neighbor when we moved in, and she said she had the same AND MORE issues with BB Management. Same with the downstairs neighbor. Had we known this info, we for sure would have sued them. It is clear the management company is knowingly negligent and they know the condition of these condos. They were flipped quickly and the owner ran out of money, so he cut corners wherever he could.
My one consolation in this is that my sister was using BB Management as the marketing company for her place. I didn't know this, nor did she know I was working with them. She figured it out when I told her about the whole situation. She has now canceled her contract with them, and she said they weren't doing anything to market her property. Looks like their crappy service has already cost them one client.
We are in the new place now, and the up side is the location. We're locked in for a year, and we're hoping that things calm down now with BB since we are in (the neighbor said she almost lost her mind when they moved in, but 2 months later it is much smoother). Wish us luck!
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